Who’s the boss

Tomorrow is the big showdown between the Patriots and the Cowboys. Most of the pundits have already conceeded this game, along with the next ten, to the Patriots. I’m aware that winning all your games in the NFL by 17 points or more is a good thing. Let’s investigate the Patriot victories to date:

Week one against the Jets: The Jets have one win this year. A playoff team last year, the Jets have struggled on offense. Not impressed.

Week two against the Chargers: The Chargers won last week to “improve” to 2-3. Come on, the Chiefs beat the Chargers. Yawn.

Week three against the Bills: The only game the Bills have won so far was against the weak-ass Jets. Seriously, people.

Week four against the Bengals: After winning a Game of Suck in week one over the
Ravens (the Team of Suck), the Bengals are winless. Didn’t the Browns score 17 more points against the Bengals?

Week five against the Browns: The Browns don’t completely suck. After Derek Anderson throws his weekly two or three interceptions, he’s pretty solid.

In five weeks, Patriot opponents have won seven games. There are four more bye weeks (AFC East games), but the Pats have the entire NFC East, the Steelers, and the Colts on the schedule.

Dallas, on the other hand, has played five teams that have won six games so far this year. For comparison purposes, the Cowboys needed a miracle rally (no thanks to butterfingers T.O.) to beat the Bills. Other than that, the closest game all season was a ten-point win in the opening weekend to a pretty good Giants squad.

Not to be overlooked, teams the Colts have defeated have won 11 games this year.

It’s kind of like the Patriots and the Cowboys are two major-college teams who have just finished their out-of-conference cupcakes, after which they started conference play with Baylor and Syracuse, respectively. It’s always interesting to see what happens to a team that hasn’t been challenged all year when they finally get hit in the mouth, so to speak. The Cowboys rallied, then turned the ball over, then rallied again. We’ll have to see what the Patriots do, assuming they ever play a team this year that displays a pulse.

Zach’s fantasy roundup:

About two weeks after the fact, let me meekly crow about my tie-breaker victory in the AUBL championship round. The Buckhead Green Sox finished 6-6 in the grueling two-week finale against the Satchel Smackers. In our league, there are 40 roster moves available in the season. Entering the final matchup, I had six moves and my opponent had ten. He played the streaming game with his pitchers, replacing them as soon as possible. This makes sense since three of the six pitching categories, wins, strikeouts, and innings pitched, favor this strategy. I was able to hang in there. Picking up Matt Garza and Ubaldo Jimenez on the final Tuesday proved to be the winning strategy. Both pitchers gave me two more starts, but it was Nick Swisher getting the last RBI of the season in a meaningless game that won the title. I won RBIs by one and finished with the tie. The tiebreaker was ERA, which doesn’t favor the streaming method, since guys you get on the waiver wire tend to be not as good.

z17 (first dynasty): I started 4-0 but lost last weekend to the hated rival Indianapolis Colts. I need LenDale White or Kevin Jones to step up and help me at RB.

z34 (second dynasty: This team has more points than the z17 squad. The McGahee/Chambers/first round pick for Larry Johnson trade has worked out so far. I traded McGahee for Romo, who has become my franchise QB. I expected more out of the Jerious Norwood/Warrick Dunn tandem. Mario Williams has been a surprise in his second year. The league as a whole is pretty evenly matched (I lost two weeks ago by .34 of a point).

AUFL: The Detroit Lions of Buckhead are 2-3, and are last in the league in scoring. I can’t draft for this keeper league. Due to trades and waiver-wire mining, I have six players left out of the 17 on my roster after the draft. A potential Fred Taylor injury could save my squad. It’s an embarrassment to say the least.

KCFA3: I’m 5-1 with a league-high 1163 points. Tell me why this guy isn’t on most Heisman short lists.

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