Ghost of appendix’s past

My appendix has attacked me from beyond the grave. First of all, my cousin had his appendix removed last Friday (sorry about that, Damian). The next insult was in the belly button.

There are three incisions in the laparoscopic procedure. One is a couple of inches to the left of the belly button. One is a couple of inches below the belly button. One is the belly button. Week one after surgery, there was no discomfort other than the usual minor soreness in any of the spots. In week two, I started having pain in the belly button region. I thought it was due to the unfortunately located button on my pants. On Friday night, after seeing Sex and the City with the wife (I was one of at least three husbands in America to do so), I took off my clothes to see that the wound had swollen up and started oozing fluid.

The wife attacked the wound with hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin. We had some leftover sterile pads from a previous surgery.

Is this the point to apologize to the two people who usually read this blog to hear me talk about bidding for Xavier Omon in my rookie draft?

The pussing and the bleeding persisted all weekend. On Monday I called the doctor’s office. Apparently hydrogen peroxide is a really bad idea, as it keeps the wound from healing. I got some strong antibiotics that cost more on my insurance than buying some Viagra on a street corner and within a week I should be healed.

When I looked up the antibiotics, the first two diseases mentioned in concert were tuberculosis and Chlamydia. I’m in good company.

It’s the first drug I’ve ever taken with three warning labels. I should not take dairy products, iron supplements, or antacids within an hour of the antibiotic. Yes, this was the first of three warnings. Prolonged or excessive sunlight is prohibited. Good thing I’m going to the beach in three days. Finally, I should not operate heavy machinery or possibly research 2008 sleeper running backs while on this medication.

Just to be safe, I’m avoiding full moons until my belly button goes from an outie back to an innie.

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