Fantasy Files: Long, Strange Trip

I returned from Nashville just in time to get to my friend Don’s house to watch some football. As I was less than a while away, a nagging feeling told me to make a change in my lineup. This was the same nagging feeling that told me to re-acquire Kenny Britt at the cost of waiver-wire wonder Brian Hartline. I ignored both, or I had trouble figuring out the app that I have barely used. I kept Hartline in my lineup and left Dez Bryant on the bench.

The result, during the early games, was torment. This is not a message stating that your gut is always right. The main reason why I kept my roster the same is that I have a common affliction among fantasy footballers. I believe that whenever there is a fantasy coin flip, I’m going to be the ref who reads the coin wrong.

Let’s admit it. This was a strange weekend for the NFL. I was already discombobulated by the Titans playing a competent 60 minutes of football. It was poker night and I had already won the biggest hand of the night with a decent but not overwhelming two pair.

Waiver-wire wonder Brian Hartline didn’t get a catch. He didn’t even get a target. Rookie sensation Greg Zuerlein, who last missed a field goal when Jeff Fisher was the Titans’ coach, missed three and the Rams lost to the Dolphins.

The Cowboys trailed the Ravens all day, but thanks to Dez Bryant’s second touchdown, were a two-point conversion from beating the hated Ravens. As Ray Lewis looked on, Bryant dropped the two-point play. The Cowboys recovered the onside kick, got into field-goal range, ran some clock and the resultant 51-yard attempt sailed wide.

Matthew Stafford, a fantasy slug for three quarters, scored 21 of his 22 fantasy points in the fourth quarter and overtime as the Lions came alive and upset the Eagles. In the same game I watched my bye-week tight end Brent Celek drop one touchdown and get called for offensive pass interference on another.

The Browns’ offense erupted in a 34-24 comeback win over the Bengals. Of course, Trent Richardson missed a key block that led to a sack, spent most of the second half on the sidelines with a “flank” injury and watched Montario Hardesty score a late touchdown. As the early games ended, I was down 40 points.

I had RGIII, and early on things were not good. My opponent had Alfred Morris, and naturally Morris scored the first TD.

My opponent had the 49ers D, and of course they scored 0 as Eli shredded them all day and the Giants D scored big.

Tom Brady got called for intentional grounding, and it wouldn’t be the first time, ruining a chance for the Pats to get an extra field goal at the half. The vaunted Patriots offense failed to score a TD all second half, even though every time the Red Zone showed the game, the Pats had the ball.

In the Cardinals game, coach Ken Whisenhunt went for a 61-yard field goal to tie instead of trying to get closer. The kick was good and would have been good from 65.

As the Vikings kept scoring to bring the game closer, RGIII showed he was 100% and then some by running 76 yards around left end for the clinching score. That gave me my first lead since right before the Stafford rally.

The Cardinals naturally missed a short field goal that would have won the game a minute later.

Russell Wilson, who I dropped for Matt Hasselbeck, threw two second-half bombs to give the Seahawks the lead. On the last drive, Mr. Brandon Lloyd made an incredible catch. Sadly, in a moment that epitomizes his season, he landed out of bounds and injured himself.

The entire AFC East is tied at 3-3. I didn’t even mention Andrew Luck’s post-coronation poor performance and Shonn Green scoring as much as he does in two months in a 35-9 Jet blowout. The moment of the day was the Colts kicking a field goal in the second half to cut the lead to 28-9.

The day ended in an appropriate fashion as the unmovable Texan D was blown out of the stadium as the Packers won 42-24. My spot-start QB Matt Schaub in my dynasty laid an egg, as did the rest of my squad. In my local keeper league, Mason Crosby scored enough for my opponent to tie. I need one point from Ryan Mathews tonight to win. Considering the weekend, I’m dreading the early fumble and subsequent benching.

Let’s do this again next week, shall we?

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