Ask Zach: Not Enough Ribs in the Universe Edition

I didn’t get an expert this week, so I will be the expert. I asked my fine Twitter followers to ask questions and questions they did ask.

I got a bunch of questions from one Ben Whibley who has been a fine addition to my Zealots 34 league. He led the league in scoring and didn’t even make the playoffs.

Does CJwhateverk start week 1 2013 for Tennessee? One reason why Bud Adams stayed with Jeff Fisher for a long time was that Fisher never had that total stinker of a season. he did “earn” the #3 and #6 draft picks in 2005/2006, so he was close. If the Titans completely crater, and losing to a Colts team that so obviously wanted to give that game up on Sunday shows they are on the true path, I see a complete coaching change. I think it’s time for new blood, and that means not giving the offensive line coach who didn’t even want to be a coordinator a shot. I’m dreaming of a Chip Kelly. While I think Kelly would do great things with CJFUk (his official name), I think the team needs to go full rebuild, give Locker an entire offseason to digest the offense and get a real offensive line. The Titans could grab a cheap free agent and a mid-range draft pick at RB. I doubt this really happens, by the way.

I had two Kenny Britt questions from mg4hand and BrianFF24. In short, was Sunday’s performance a sign that he’s “back”? Britt had a fine game, but notice that even after a fantastic performance, he refused to talk to the media. Frankly, he has the T.O. attitude with about 63% of the talent. If the Titans want to start from scratch, they’d trade him off for whatever they could get. Really though, he’s a cheap guy for next year and they might as well hold onto him. I think he should be a 1,000-yard receiver next year if he stays away from surgery and getting arrested. He’ll be a fantasy value.

Back to Ben…

What do you think about the new kickoff idea? I think…dumber than shit. It’s unconventional, sure, but we pretty much eliminated kickoffs by moving them up to the 35-yard-line. Marc Mariani went from a Pro Bowler to a guy who didn’t have a kickoff return for the first seven games or so last year.

This one’s from Eye of the Gator: Do you prefer wet ribs, dry ribs, or dry ribs with sauce on the side? Related question: vinegar, ketchup or mustard based? I may be monogamous in my relationship, but when it comes to pork, I am a total slut. I had mustard-based sauce once and it was fine. I prefer vinegar, although I’ve done a dry rub a couple of times and it’s been fine and dandy. Don’t burn the ribs to a crisp and you’re going to have fun.

Here we go, one from FantasyTrade411, who goes by Nick. So if the universe is always expanding…what is it expanding into? It is expanding into one big growler store. This is the golden age of fantasy football, beer, and knowledge, but it’s a bad time if you hate the Patriots, Ravens, and Texans. Let me have a mean moment and say (castrated) Bulls on Parade!

From CD Carter, who thinks he could write a better World War Z script… Do you think Cook will be a Titan next year, and if so, will they at least pretend to get him more involved? Jared Cook was IR’d today. The Titans are putting guys on the IR like their season is over. Oh yeah, it is. I may watch just to see Jon Gruden struggle to say something nice about Sanchez. The Titans like what they see out of Taylor Thompson. Cook’s just one of those guys who has insane physical talent, but can’t figure out the blocking part so that when he’s on the field, the defense knows it’s going to be a pass. This will not be the case with Thompson and Craig Stevens. Stevens got the contract extension this offseason, not Cook. Cook will frustrate us elsewhere next fall.

I went a whole two questions without one from Ben. So I’ll give him two in a row. Could you ever see an NFL franchise in the UK working? The travel would be too intense. The only way this would work is if the NFL does four European teams and they would have to probably add a bye week. Is there enough interest over there for eight home games a year? I think it’s a novelty for one game a year and they will probably expand to two. Maybe the 49ers will get another game.

Have you ever bought an NFL jersey you regret? I own a Vince Young jersey that’s been repurposed into a Jake Locker, and that may need to be re-repurposed in a few years. I also have a Pacman Jones jersey that has an actual Pacman logo sewn on.

In short, anything with a Titans logo on it is currently reason for embarrassment. I may wear my Missouri Kellen Winslow throwback a lot this offseason.

Thanks for asking, and I will get an actual interview in the next week.

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