Playoff Time: Four at a Time

I made an executive decision to skip the Saturday games, have them recorded at my friend Don’s place, and watch all four on Sunday. Saturday was a little difficult as I ended up at a bar. I was staring at the floor as we played pool and every TV in the room was on the game. I survived.

I’m in the Funk Mansion with two racks of ribs (one Memphis style, the other a Buffalo wing style) on the grill and a New Holland Cabin Fever brown ale in my hand.

Texans/Bengals (watching begins at noon Eastern time)

Texans win the uniform battle with all blue compared to the Bengals traditional ugliness. After two punts, the Texans start moving the ball. Schaub going play action is what the Texans are all about. I was actually surprised that he threw for 4k this year.

After Jermaine Gresham dropped a couple of passes, Owen Daniels drops a pass that leads the Texans to a field goal. I have to ask why you ever would throw BJGE a screen pass.

The Bengals must have the worst offense in the playoffs. Dalton’s not throwing it to Green and otherwise, they are sub-par at the skill positions.

Dalton’s first deep pass goes to not A.J. Green.

I am finished with my first beer around 1 p.m. We’re not really far ahead on time, game had the fastest first quarter in the playoffs (cue lots of commercials coming later).

It took me about an hour to prep the ribs. Getting that membrane off the back end took forfreakingever. They’ve been on the grill for about 45 minutes, recommendation was 325 to 350 but the grill hasn’t warmed up yet, still south of 300. Hard to tell how it will work out ultimately.

I can state with no hesitation that the winner of this game will be chum next week in either New England or Denver. Schaub throws and out to Casey who doesn’t come back to the ball and Leon Hall goes pick six.

Is it underreported that both teams in this game are starting undrafted rookie free agents at running back? Foster jukes Maualuga so badly that he doesn’t get a hand on him.

Texans have three drives, three field goals as opposed to the Bengals who have done nothing on offense at all.

This just in: Arian Foster is good. The Bengals got a field goal when they remembered that A.J. Green was on their team.

Bengals get the ball back, down six, about six minutes to go. Ribs are off the grill and fries are in the oven. I’m two beers in.

Houston must have had a Groupon on those D “fence” signs.

Third and 11, Dalton overthrows Green open in the end zone. On fourth down they do the Jeff Fisher last play in the Super Bowl play, throw the ball short and hope the receiver can break a tackle. Not so much.

By Bruce Gradkowski’s beard, I think the Texans are going to win this one. The Texans have Foster, Andre Johnson, and a bunch of tight ends on offense. Schaub celebrates throwing his player into a concussion.

It’s birthday time, or victory formation as the Texans dominate a game that they could have lost. Time for some…

Packers vs. Vikings

Fries are in the oven and we’ll be eating ribs shortly. I’ll get some rib sauce on the keyboard. We got through the first game by 2 p.m. which is on schedule.

It looks cold in Green Bay, but how do we know that it’s really cold without a blizzard?

I can predict that the Vikings’ all-run offense will not succeed long-term. They got in scoring position pretty quickly. Tough to start a playoff game with three snaps all year at QB.

With DuJuan Harris, that’s three out of the four starting RBs who are undrafted players.

I took a ribs break (the buffalo ones were the winner) and the Packers are putting away the Vikings as expected. The Titans played four games against the Texans, Packers and Vikings and lost by a combined 109 points.

Clay Matthews is making plays again. I feel a little bad for Joe Webb. Amazing that Adrian Peterson finished only nine yards short of Eric Dickerson’s total with about 30 fewer carries.

Cool that it’s 3:11 p.m. and I still have two football games to watch today. And there’s a high-gravity beer in the fridge waiting for me.

This is one of those “if anything can go wrong, it will” games for the Vikings. Or, every week for the Titans.

When you talk best Alcorn State guys in the NFL, Donald Driver edges out Steve McNair. Surprised that he was a healthy scratch.

Adrian Peterson knows how to finish a run. That makes watching the last eight minutes of this game worthwhile.

I can’t believe the Vikings let Michael Jenkins wear Randy Moss’s number. Jenkins probably will end up as a top five fantasy wideout this week with that 50-yard garbage time TD.

Next Saturday I’ll be grilling out with a master and a Packers fan for the Packers/49ers game. The ladies will be drinking and rolling their eyes.

Colts at Ravens

I’ll post the tweets that I would have posted had I watched this game on time.

The last time these teams played in the playoffs, Adam Vinatieri was the MVP and Steve McNair lost his final playoff game.

Andrew Luck is protected by a line that would embarrass a CFL team.

I cannot emphasize enough that Donnie Avery couldn’t crack the Titans’ lineup last year and he’s a key player for the Colts this year.

The only way the Colts are winning is if the Ravens turn the ball over like they just did. Ray Rice coughs it up like a young LenDale White.

Touch a QB’s foot and it’s a penalty. Try to twist Vick Ballard’s head off, no problem.

Colts were in scoring range and it’s fumble time. Playoff football isn’t always pretty.

Third down, Flacco throws the ball directly into a Colt defender. I do not envy Ravens fans this offseason, losing their leading obstructor of justice and trying to figure out how much to pay a sub-elite QB.

A key battle is Luck’s ability to get long third-down conversions against the Ravens D. So far, Ravens D is winning.

Trying a Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron. It’s a high gravity beer. I’ll need to sip.

It took until the second quarter to get the first Jim Caldwell vacant stare of the game? For shame, CBS.

Ravens get in the red zone and it’s two straight targets for Tandon Doss. It didn’t end well.

I think I might have spontaneously combusted had Ray Lewis made that interception right after CBS showed him hugging Roger Goddell.

It’s been 24 hours since I last checked Twitter. I’m on my way to a full recovery.

This game feels like the Texans/Bengals game in the that home team is missing opportunities to get some distance early.

I think the home scorer for this game is going to give Ray Lewis credit for more tackles than the Colts will have offensive plays.

Ravens fans have bad memories of Adam Vinatieri. It’s a barn-burner at 3-3 late in the second quarter.

Ray Rice >>>>>> Ray Lewis. If it weren’t for his fumble, this could be a 17-3 game.

One advantage to fast-fowarding the first half is not listening to announcers. I’m talking to you, Phil Simms.

That catch and run by TY Hilton to get the team in field goal range was almost as good as Luck’s movement in the pocket. The QB who keeps looking downfield instead of running will find those plays.

At halftime we’re at 10-6 Ravens. It’s time for a beer break.

Is Adam Vinatieri going to be the first player in NFL history to play ten years with two different teams? 10 years with the Pats and 7 with the Colts.

Joe Flacco’s not avoiding too many sacks. Mathis takes him down. Flacco smartly throws the ball downfield on third and long and gets the reception. That’s almost a no-lose proposition. Either get a catch, a penalty, or a pick that’s like a punt.

I’m having to drink slowly, but I’m enjoying this Dogfish super drunky beer. Maybe 8% on the alcohol next time.

The Ravens looked like they were offside twice in one series and got called for neither.

Anquan Boldin’s showing his worth this half. Three crazy catches so far.

Michael Oher has been a supremely average pro.

Andrew Luck is so good on third and long as a rookie. It’s going to be a major pain as a Titan fan.

We’re almost through the third quarter at 4:48 p.m. and the late game just started. Colts cut it to 17-9 but the Ravens are about to put it away, I feel.

Ray Rice is having an incredible game. Then he fumbles again.

The Colts have had a few third-down plays in which the ball has been a little off and the receiver hasn’t been able to adjust. 17-9 Ravens and it’s getting tight.

Bernard Pierce has really come on. Ravens are running all over the Colts.

This is an Anquan Boldin win. This is why the Ravens traded two draft picks to get him. Larry Fitzgerald had to break Boldin’s records.

The Ravens are going to win a playoff game in their fifth season in a row. That’s crazy talk.

The NFL catch rule is insane. It’s opposite of what happens when you “fumble”. Avery caught the ball, his elbow was down and Reed’s knee popped the ball out.

Cary Williams (ex-Titan) makes the fourth and one interception. I love how Luck ran him down for the tackle. Peyton and Brady aren’t doing that.

Great season by the Colts. I can’t wait for them to come back to earth next year.

Please, Ravens fans and America, keep rooting for the guy who helped kill a man. You inspire me.

Seahawks at Redskins

We were working on ribs so it took an hour to get through the first hour of the first game. So we watched about 8 hours of football in about half the time. I think Don earned carpal tunnel syndrome by hitting the fast-forward button on his remote after every play. We’re going to be pissed when we get caught up in the middle of the second quarter.

I’ve had four beers, two glasses of water, a Coke Zero and a Pepsi Max.

Evan Royster with the TD. It’s random RB day.

RGIII runs around forever and runs for one yard. Throwing the ball away is not a bad thing.

Could the Redskins do what the other home teams haven’t done, and step on the neck of their opponent early when given the opportunity?

Running back update: Three undrafted free agents, two first-rounders (Peterson/Lynch), one second-rounder (Rice), a sixth-round rookie (Morris) and a fifth-round rookie (Ballard).

You’re not allowed to take off your helmet on the NFL field yet Griffin’s done it on consecutive plays. He is not feeling good at the moment.

It’s a good day in that I’ll need to charge my laptop twice.

When they talk about “unleashing” an offense, Russell Wilson has been quite leashed this year. He’s a great fantasy QBBC selection in fantasy next year.

Wilson was behind the line for at least six seconds and nobody broke open.

Did RGIII pay his co-pay to see Dr. James Andrews there?

One thing about today’s games is that you are shocked when a ball is not thrown on the money, like that third-down throw by RGIII.

There are tons of rookies playing key roles on playoff teams. Rookies have to give your team instant impact these days.

Michael Robinson has done pretty well for himself, coming from college QB to NFL fullback, and a Pro Bowler at that.

The Redskins are having a bit of a rough time after the early 14-0 lead. This could end poorly.

NFL teams are super thin in a few positions. Kicker, punter, and long snapper. If any of the three get hurt, as Seattle’s kicker is hurt, the team’s in trouble. If Seattle ends up in field goal territory, they’re going to have to go for fourth down.

I’m not sure what Howie Long meant in his sign there. The Seahawks have mad momentum going into the second half.

The Seahawks were about to take the lead and Lynch fumbles. That’s a bit of a momentum shift. Titans do this, they go three and out.

That was a huge play, getting that first down on third and five. Santana Moss has become a solid role player.

Browner is getting super physical with Garcon on the outside. It’s working.

Even though he was down, Russell Wilson made a crazy throw in the grasp there on third down.

Redskins are just holding the Seahawks off. They’re going to need to score again to win.

RGIII is totally gutting out this game. It’s all about survival at this point.

It’s the injured kicker (Seattle) versus the injured QB (Washington).

The two first-round RBs in this weekend’s games (Adrian Peterson/Marshawn Lynch) are worth the price of admission by themselves.

Did someone say Beast Mode? Marshawn Lynch makes it so.

RGIII down on the field…this is how ‘Skins Nation feels at the moment.

Kirk Cousins time in DC.

I think we can call this a game. RGIII, please take it easy as you are a key member of my dynasty team. All four losers this weekend had “better than we expected” kind of seasons. You move on sometimes.

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