Fantasy Files: Beep, beep, beep

I don’t know if it’s completely accurate that I backed into the playoffs in my two main leagues. After all, I did win my final games to make it into the “big dance”. The circumstances were a bit unusual.

In my local keeper league, the league that will go all redraft in 2014, I barely skated by even after acquiring Cam Newton, TY Hilton, and Zac Stacy. In four weeks, I finished 3-1 although I needed two Monday Night Neo efforts, dodging bullets to get my victory. While Jimmy Graham outscored Drew Brees for me to ensure the big W, my team finished 10th in the league. When you don’t have a Decker/Jeffery/Gordon, you only can hope that your opponent doesn’t either.

This year has been more random than most. Eight of our 12 teams have a top overall score in a week. I’ve lost four games by at least 50 points, won two by 50+, and won two of three games within five points.

Can I win three in a row for the title when my team hasn’t won more than two in a row all year? I made my desperation trade for Cam/TY/Stacy because I didn’t get that waiver-wire wonder, save Andre Brown. Brown has 21, 12, 21, and 21 points in the past four games. Dez Bryant and Jimmy Graham have been my studs but both are in pain. Imagine Jimmy Graham’s numbers without the foot injury, seeing as he’s scoring a TD a game. Hilton’s turned into a poor man’s Kendall Wright, catching short passes across the middle and no touchdowns. I’m actually excited about my team D waiver pickup, the Oakland Raiders against the broken slot machine Jets offense.

In my dynasty league, I had to take most of my lunch hour figuring out tiebreakers. In one conference, four teams finished at 6-7 and I had to sort out head to head finishes to break the tie. In the other conference, I finished in a three-way tie for the last playoff spot at 5-8. Note that in Zealots, only six teams make the playoffs. Despite losing to my dad who was part of the three-team logjam, I made it through. The dynasty team has been a mess since none of my wide receivers have been worth a crap. Kenbrell Thompkins has been my fourth-highest scoring WR. It looks like Zac Stacy can replace Ray Rice in my lineup, so I should be decent there. It would be nice if Julius Thomas returned.

I’m a combined 11-16 in these leagues, although I could finish 17-16, so I have that going for me.

Quick confessions of a daily fantasy degenerate update: I only played one game on Sunday, a $1 60k 50/50 in which I finished 29th. I needed two of the three between Jeffery/Gordon/Decker and only started Jeffery. I’ll be back next week.

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