Life Its Ownself: Gums of the Navarone

This will be an almost 100% football-free post as I chat about gums and my job search.

Welcome back to “Life Its Ownself”.

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my mouth for decades. I love it because it’s the origin point for beer and delicious food, and let’s just cut it there in terms of where my mouth has been. I hate it because of endless dental trips.

In 1983 I was riding my bike on a rainy night, flipped over the handlebars and landed face-first into the pavement. I’m not sure why I broke the fall with my face rather than my arms but the result was one of my front teeth needing to be surgically removed from my jaw bone. I had a lot of temporary solutions there until finally getting a cap about 15 years ago. I’ve had more cavities than I’ve had teeth, and due to poor gum maintenance and genes there has been recession. In 2006 I had my first “gum graft”. The “before” is pretty simple: Take drugs, pass out. It’s the after that’s the rub.

The first time I had the procedure, it was an IV and I was asleep in ten seconds. For my repeat visit, last Thursday, I was given a valium the night before (slightly more graceful than drinking a few too many beers) and another “sleeping pill” that morning. When I arrived at the dentist, they crushed up two more of the sleeping pills and put them directly in my mouth without water. That tasted horrible. That’s also the last thing I remember until a hazy ride home hours later, and my wife settled me downstairs on the couch of the man cave for a good rest.

That’s what you do when you have the procedure. You rest. And you take pills. And you watch TV shows that you don’t worry about half-remembering. Louie was a good choice although the first time I tried to search for it on Amazon Prime my drug-addled brain had trouble spelling the five-letter word. The show doesn’t have a lot of a “plot” or tons of characters so that’s perfect. I also started a three-day Twitter war (ask me about my second identity some day) but that’s another story altogether.

The limitations aren’t bad when you’re sleeping most of the day. The “soft food” and “no caffeine/alcohol” part also becomes more taxing as time progresses. Also after being a workout machine during this no-work time, I have to take a week off the elliptical, no small sacrifice. I purposely made a giant container of mashed potatoes and brought back my green smoothies for breakfast. During the weekend I transitioned to Six Feet Under and even left the house once. I had one sip of a Anderson Valley Winter Ale before dumping the rest into a pot for beef stew.

The pain’s still in the background. I’ve taken the Hydrocodon out of the rotation (heavy pain pills always give me funky side effects) and I’m down to super Ibuprofen and an antibiotic. Today, four days after the procedure, might be my first non-nap day as I try to get back into a “routine”.

People occasionally ask about my job search status as I enter Month Four of “umemployment”. I’m making progress. I have two opportunities that are getting to the “rose or no rose” part of the process. I had an in-person interview Tuesday, and it’s the after the interview part that’s tough when you wait and wait and there isn’t a standard time deviation for when to expect a reply. I have an in-person interview in Indianapolis this week. As it goes in the dynasty fantasy world, you have to have backups and backups of backups so applying I will go until something happens.

I’ll get back to football talk later this week as a “slow” dynasty mock draft I’m doing is moseying through the single digit rounds and I joined another one set up by the Wes Welker of mocks Ryan McDowell.

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