Fantasy Files: Auction Lifeboat in a Sea of Booze

“What’s the worst thing that could happen?” I thought to myself as I tried to come up with what to do for Going for 2 that would be interesting and different. “Doing an actual draft during the show — no, wait, and auction! Let’s do one of those. I can totally concentrate on talking while trying to sift through 240 players with 11 other personalities.”

Just me, a boot and a hat

Was I smiling when the auction was over?

Here are some easy tips for auctions:

1. You can’t get every player — Early on, you want every player. When you bid up a guy and lose by $1, you wonder what might have been. It’s OK, you immediately move on to the next.
2. You need to get some players — Auctions are a crazy balance. You don’t want to spend your money too quickly and be stuck going to the “Dollar Store” while everyone else is still buying retail. If you hold onto your money like a miser, you die with a pile of greenbacks and bitter memories.
3. It’s impossible to concentrate for the entire time — I don’t care what your plan is, there’s going to be a point when a player gets taken and you think “when did that happen?”
4. Be on the level with your league — In this case, the level was drunk. Maybe I was a little under Sharona’s level this week.
5. If you’re going to drink, drink out of a beer boot — I didn’t see that tidbit on FootballGuys.

This was an MFL10-style auction. In my limited auction experience, you have a set amount of money, a roster to fill out and once you’re broke, you’re broke. In the MFL10 style, you have to finish with the same 20-player roster as the draft kind. That means you can only spend enough to have $1 left per player. There were a couple of owners who were down to $10 for ten players, so it was a matter of being the person who initiated a bid and not having someone “bump” you.

What was this league like? I’ve only completed a few auctions, and usually everyone’s crazy for the high-dollar guys but after a while it cools off and you get bargains. That was not the case in this league. We were three hours in and there were bidding wars for Carson Palmer and Blake Bortles. Literally me and the last other person with money threw haymakers over the Jaguars starting QB. Even the defenses didn’t go cheaply. 1/4 of NFL team defenses went for at least $4, what with me listening to advice to only pay a buck for that position.

In short, the MFL10 rules are the following: start 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 flex, 1 TE and 1 team defense. Scoring is best-ball, which means you draft (or auction) and forget. My preparation was reading the paltry auction offerings at FBG and listening to this week’s Faked Goods podcast.

Before we roll with my own team, thanks to Mike for getting the live auction rolling and occasionally pausing when necessary. Other participants included me and Sharona, @esturk23, @ff_skyler399, @leedoglaw (Lisa joined us in the hangout), @mattthomson53, @chlingen, @bayareascott, @mysleepers, @markhill321, and the one, the only, the @privatepookie.

I started strong, taking Le’Veon Bell and Eddie Lacy early, spending $86 out of my $200 on two players who usually end up in the early first round. I picked up a couple of second-tier WRs in T.Y. Hilton and Mike Evans for $25 and $28. Oh yeah, the MFL10 auction setup is a little glitchy. When I made my final up-bid on Evans, I managed to out-bid myself. Once I picked up Jarvis Landry for $18, I had spent more than 3/4 of my money on 1/5 of my roster spots.

The goal was to wait on TEs and QBs and I sure did that. I picked up Dwayne Allen ($4), Eric Ebon ($4), and Larry Donnell ($2). I couldn’t win a QB to save my life so at the end I had Jay Cutler ($4), Ryan Fitzpatrick ($1) and probably the only player picked who had negative 2014 fantasy points, Tyrod Taylor ($1).

My two stud RBs are nice, but I have practically nothing backing them up. I have Jay Ajayi ($2), Jonas Gray ($1), and DeAngelo Williams ($2). In short, I have a couple of players who should help cover Bell’s suspension. My other WRs were the Indy duo of Dorsett ($3) and Moncrief ($2) and Mike Wallace ($8).

It turned out to be a bit of a “studs and scrubs” squad. Oh yeah, and the beer I had in that German-style beer boot was Wild Heaven’s Funkenrauch, a smoked wild ale that was quite smoky. Pretty solid beer.

The auction took about 3.5 hours, and by the time we finished, Sharona was breaking into the brandy. She might have a slight headache this morning. It was fun, although I’d probably start earlier next time and attempt to have a little depth in my RB corps, maybe get a Jameis Winston to throw into the LRQB mix.

Note that this is our longest show, more than 215 minutes. The good news is it’s top-heavy.

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