Sunday morning, rise and grind
9-9:30: Work on grocery list (chug a Pepsi Max and grab the recyclable bags)
9:30-10:30: Go to Kroger for your meat needs. Stop at Publix needing four things and realize they have the “buy $50 of groceries and get $10 off a $50 gas card” deal which means you have to grind to find $50 worth of stuff to buy
10:30-11:30: Hit the elliptical. To be most efficient, start the grill during your “change directions” break
During none of this time do you watch pre-game football, but listening to The Audible is acceptable.
11:30-1 p.m.: Warm up grill, put on turkey bacon first (shaddup, it’s peppered and delicious), make Thai meatballs with half of your ground turkey and onion burgers with the other half.
Onion burger recipe: Ground meat, chopped onions (white or yellow), garlic, onion, olive oil, some Montreal steak spice, make into burgerlicious burgers
Thai meatballs: three teaspoons red curry paste, half a can of coconut milk, some Italian seasoning, garlic, chopped onions
I forget the bacon while meatballing and they turn into carbon. Oops. Getting myself together I cook the two orders of meatballs on the iron skillet on the grill, turn on the oven for sweet potato fries (my one semi-healthy choice of the day), roll some burgers and get them going.
1:00: Hit pause on the Red Zone channel. Finish the fries and put the cheese on the burgers during their final minute on the grill. French burger rolls are cut (je suis Paris) and I await my company.
1:15: Josh Deceuster arrives. He’s late in part because I went dyslexic when sending him my address and transposed two of the numbers. Note that the last time we gathered we had way too much beer and I think I left him with the tab before Ubering home. I try to make it up by grilling everything and having a world-class beer selection. Josh tops me by bringing not one, not two, but five bombers. Aren’t they pretty?
1:30: Burgers are consumed, Anderson Valley Blood Orange Gose as the accompaniment.
1:45: Burgers round two along with a Barrel-Aged Narwhal. This is a stout produced by Sierra Nevada. It’s 12.9% booze, but quite smooth
2:15: We take it relatively easy and go with a Smuttynose Old Brown Dog Ale. Brown ale-y goodness.
We watched Ben Roethlisberger limp off the bench and save the day. Oh wait, they were playing the Browns.
The Titans went all Navy and their offense disappeared in a cloud of Dexter McCluster up the gut play calls.
The Rams totally forgot how to play defense and Josh cheered waiver-wire wonder Jeremy Langford.
The Cowboys discovered another painful way to lose.
We watched the Lions try as hard as they could to blow the game to the suddenly punchless Packers.
Kirk Cousins tore up the Saints, which made last week’s Mariota performance seem a little less impressive.
The Dolphins beat the Eagles as someone won the Sam Bradford injury pool.
The Ravens lost in perhaps the dumbest way all year, getting a face mask penalty on what should have been a game-ending sack.
We tried a local brew, Three Taverns’ Funkenrauch which is an actual German style of beer that sounds cool. It was a smoked beer, and after all the smoked meats we consumed, good pairing.
As we watched the worst fantasy QB performance of all time (-7 points in our local league scoring) by Peyton, we put a capper on things with a bag of Baked Lays (baked for his girlish figure) and an Avery The Czar Imperial Stout. Very stout-y. The Giants let the Pats turn the Super Bowl tables and the Josh’s Vikings put down the Raiders with my favorite fantasy moment of the day, ADP going 80 to finish off Oakland in the fourth quarter.
It was a full afternoon. I watched a very short portion of the evening game and called it a night. Josh, you’re invited over anytime.