Mocking the Scott Fish Bowl

That’s right, Scott, I’m mocking you and your bowl full of fish. Are they those gummy fish? That’s not even a dessert, you father of leagues. I’d like to thank the mad scientists at twoqbs.com for hosting the SFB480 interview series, adding victims, I mean people every day.

Oh, if you want to go directly to the Scott Fish Bowl 480 mock draft results and ignore my yapping, click away.

The first mock I did was totally bogus as I didn’t even use my real draft slot from the Leading Women Conference, Jennifer Aniston division. That was fine because it’s more about getting a feel for the type of draft and player values than exactly who I may have cursed if that applies to mocks (asking Lisa London about that).

The second pick sucks. I’m such a big fan of drafting late in the first round in a snake format. You get to take advantage of “bad” picks and you get to say the fantasy expert standby, he dropped to me. Nobody drops to you at pick number two. There’s no clear-cut #1, although in most drafts so far it’s been a WR, with the exception of these QB flex leagues in which Cam Newton comes into play.

I’m going to show my picks and compare them to a beer, because this gets my “beer of the week” column covered at the same time.

1.02: Ezekiel Elliott: Westbrook Leopold (expensive bomber, not sure if it was worth the $20 price tag which is how we always feel about high draft picks)
2.11: Russell Wilson: Evil Twin Sour Bikini (had to pick a low-booze beer that ain’t cheap to match up with Russy)
3.02: Mike Evans: Wild Heaven Eschaton (here’s a beer that when it’s on point is one of my favorites in the Quad style. Every once in a while a Wild Heaven beer blows up from excess carbonation and those are the non-TD Evans weeks.)
4.11: Travis Kelce: Full Sail Nut Brown Ale (a really good version of the style, but like Kelce production, not available all the time)
5.02: Randall Cobb: Westbrook Gose (nice refreshing beer, not always in stores like Cobb’s not always going to score for you)
6.11: Golden Tate: Was an auto-pick, so like when you go to an event and the “best” beer is Sweetwater 420 which is a good IPA but I’m not a fan of IPAs.
7.02: Jeremy Hill: Abita Strawberry (your friends may make fun of you for drinking it but you can drink a lot in one sitting like those big TD games you’re hoping to get from Hill)
8.11: Delanie Walker: Ommegang Rosetta (your run-of-the-mill cherry Kriek, tasty and smooth and feels unusual like having a steady Titans fantasy option)
9.02: Emmanuel Sanders: Newcastle (two years about Sanders was winning you titles, much like how Newcastle used to be “my jam”)
10.11: Blaine Gabbert: PBR (there’s a slight chance that you’ll like it but most likely it will be the same swill you’ve tried half a dozen times before)
11.02: Jared Goff: Second Self Maverick and Gose (It’s a new beer, local, so thought the rookie thing stuck. Also a Gose can only get you so drunk at 4% and that’s what you’re going to get out of a Rams QB, happy on the week when he actually gets a TD)
12.11: LeGarrette Blount: Colt .45 (works every time, and gives you a sledgehammer headache every time)
13.02: Markus Wheaton: Boulder Shake Chocolate Porter (because it’s not an every-day thing for you to want a chocolate porter and it’s not an every-week thing that Wheaton will be in your starting lineup)
14.11: DeAngelo Williams: Smuttynose Old Brown Dog Ale (when you try a new beer, have a backup beer ready and this is one of the best backups in the bidness)
15.02: Chris Hogan: Three Taverns Sour Asylum #8 (thought I’d pick a beer from a brewery I like but a beer I haven’t tried yet to match the uncertainty of Hogan in a strong offense but in a role that we don’t know yet)
16.11: Terrance Williams: Bass (I’ll reach for another beer from my roaring 20s, one that I might not enjoy now but there are memories, like when Terrance Williams scored touchdowns)
17.02: Shaun Draughn: Goose Island Lolita (Remember when you went crazy for any player from a “Chip Kelly offense” which now feels like “A Spike Lee Joint” in terms of quality? Lolita is a sour, style I like, but did not enjoy the bitter finish).
18.11: Cameron Brate: Brooklyn Brown Ale (Brate is one of those “hold until that hot waiver guy comes up” type of picks. Brooklyn Brown is a beer I’ll buy to finish out my mixed sixer.)
19.02: Cameron Artis-Payne: Cinnamon Cocoa Drafty Kilt (This is a dessert version of a Scottish Ale and the cinnamon reminded me a little too much of Fireball. CAP is a backup which is like the dessert portion that you really don’t want as your main course)
20.11: Tajae Sharpe: Reaching to the bottom of the ice chest at a friends’ BBQ (This is a friend, so you hope the beer selection is good. Much like the 20th round pick who is a 5th round rookie but perhaps the only Titan who knows the route tree, there is upside.)
21.02: Larry Donnell: Miller (red label) (As we barely remember the Larry Donnell love from his three-TD day, I barely remember thinking for about three weeks that this red label version of Miller was good. I was 23.)
22.11: Ty Montgomery: Original Coors (It’s the Banquet Beer and CD Carter likes it because he hates America and there was one afternoon after a Georgia/South Carolina game that it tasted good for a couple of hours.)

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